Life does not seem to be how it is

Hi, it has been awhile since I last updated here.

I am 29, yet I am diagnose with mild depression, anxiety and  pmdd (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder).
Sometime, I felt so meaningless with life, hence, I told myself I have to endure and go through these, as I know there are many love ones who are there for me. I know the one who is suffering and going through this with me are none other than my partner, Shane. It is not easy for her deal with my emotions and mood-swing. At times, I feel sad being like this and it is torturing for us. I am really grateful for her. Without her, I couldn't imagine how I can fight this. I really wish to promise her that I will never ever have to leave this world. I will really try my best to fight this as much as possible. It has been years since I am having this sickness, I wish, and I wish I can really overcome this soon, very soon. It is really not easy for me, the emotion are really unbearable. It is so tough at times, where I wish things could come to an end, but I know I have to fight this for my love ones. Today, I almost ended my life but I know once I do it, it will never become the same again.
I promise as much as I can, I will overcome this.

Regards
Mich..

15 June

Happy advance birthday GRANDMA!


Had thienkee steamboat at goldenmile complex. Not a lot of people turn up. Only 5th aunt , 8th aunt and 9th aunt fams plus my fams. I love the steamboat there cause it is traditional and nice.
After our lunch, we took train and head to Tampines hub for K session at Teo Heng, it is $35 for 19 pax per room. Cake cutting session and phototaking during k session. Sing till 7pm and head off for dinner. We ate dinner at tampines food centre. That's all. TATA!

14 JUNE

Took leave on this day. Went out at around 10am to fetch hubs from work. Had lunch at far east plaza before tattoo touch up. Felt a lil disappointed cause my tattoo artist didn't turn up (he texted me in the middle of the night and told me that he met with an accident), therefore I had to go off cause his other colleague do not know how to do tattoo. Aftermath, hub and I went to National dental centre for my cracked too. Sucha coincidental we saw nat. She was there for her toothache as well.
After tooth checking, we went back kovan for dinner. Had Thai kway chap for dinner, its not bad but a lil salty, portion was not big. After our dinner, we head back to my home. That's the end of my Thursday with my beloved hubs. 

FORCE

I just don't like the feeling of being force.
Why can't I just do the thing that I like? I don't expect you to accept me for who I am, but please don't force me.
I know you cant accept that I am a lesbian, I am fine. Please don't ever make me choose.
I am an adult, I know what I want.
I am happy with what I want.
How can it be possible to find a guy during this 2 years? I want shane but no one else.
I love you, daddy. I love Shane too.
I don't want any other people. Why do you have to force me to do what I don't want.
If you really want to force me, all I have to do is die, or die.
I just feel like dying. I cant stay positive.
I think I am having some kind of depression. I hate being force. I just want freedom.
You know that the more you force me, the more I will rebel.
Remember last time you force me to go back home early , I got no choice but to rebel.
I really will do that. I really want to die. If I die and you both will feel happy , why not.
I really don't expect you to accept me for who I am, but I just want my freedom. Please don't force me. Do you want to lose a daughter? Or do you want your daughter to be happy?

Bangkok Trip 8-11 march '17

After years of saying but not planning anything when we told grandma that we are bringing her to BKK(grandma have been asking when is my trip).Therefore, one of these day, Kelly, Samantha and I decided to plan a trip to bkk during November last year. After months of planning, tadaaaa we are finally flying to bkk.

Let me conclude the 4 days trip here :

 

Day 1:

Meet up with sam at my house, while waiting for Wenjun(Kelly's bf) to drove us over to the airport together with Kelly and big aunt.

Arrived at the airport, check in and we went to crystal jade to have our lunch, thanks sam for the treats (: 

 

 Board the flight at 3pm

Arrived at BKK (Don Mueang International Airport) at about 4.25pm(bkk timing). We had some arguments with the service staff at the airport , I would advise not to book air asia (which is our flight), the problem with air asia is because they only arrive at the old airport which I'm referring to Don Mueang. The service was bad, the queue to get our passport chop was extremely long, oh ya, Fyi, Don Mueang airport is far from the city as well. After much hassle, we finally or managed to get out of the queue. First of all, we head off to buy sim card. We checked if there is any grab car but unfortunately there wasn't any. Kelly and I had to go over to the service counter and we manage to get a mini bus that drove us to the hotel. Fyi, we will be staying at citin pratunam hotel for that 4 days. Checked in hotel, un- packed and rest. At about late evening, we headed out for dinner near our hotel. Had our dinner at Tomyam Paanga.

After dinner, we walked around baiyoke area. Head back to hotel at about 1 am. That's the end of day 1.

 

Day 2:

Woke up at about 8 or 9 am. Before heading out, (what girls like to do? of course is pose infront of camera HAHAH!)

Prepared and went over to soi 19 to had wanton mee.

 

 

After our early breakfast, we head off to platinum area and shop around.

 

Saw this cute little girl:

 

 

Went back hotel and put some stuff. Before heading back to hotel, we had some coffee and starbucks:

 

 

 

 

Here comes our next stop, which is Siam paragon. Have our dessert at Afteryou café.

 
Next stop: Naraya for the two old lady. They can really shop there the whole day. While waiting for them, we sat down resting and chit-chatted. At about 6pm? we went to MK restaurant and have our early dinner. HAHAHAHA our whole day is eat and rest.



 After our super full dinner, we went to neon market which is near berkerly hotel. Kelly and I did manicure there too.

 TADA! End of day 2.(with 3 sleeping beauty HEHEHE!)

 

Day 3:

Before heading of for brunch, theres a need for picture :

Had chicken rice for brunch(opp berekerly hotel) :

 

After brunch, we went to chatuchak. Went off within 1 hour, apparently there is nothing much on Friday. Therefore, we decided to go Big C and ......(picture tell the story),

 

 Cab back to hotel and rest before dinner time.
Went to have some massage before dinner,
Had tomyum soup again for dinner:

 Went back to neon market again. Back to hotel ard 2am?

 

 

End of day 3!

 

Day 4(last day in BKK):

 

Head off to chatuchak again. The weather at chatuchak is extremely hot. Had our brunch there.

Head off to hotel at about 3pm. Board the van that pick us up to airport.
Our flight is about 6.50pm. While waiting at the airport, we took some photos (:

 

 HOME SWEET HOME!